Vi Spy: Licence to Chill

Spies are rubbish at keeping secrets. Not your big ‘it’s a matter of state security’ secrets – obviously they have to be good with those. After all, they wouldn’t be much of a spy if they posted a selfie on Twitter while parachuting into a topsecret enemy lair (#ItsUnderTheVolcano).

No – the big stuff is safe. You have to protect the code to the prime minister’s chocolate safe? Go ahead and tell a spy. You need to hide the world’s first laser-guided, intercontinental water pistol? A spy will know just the place. You’ve discovered that brain-sucking aliens are invading Surbiton? A spy will take that information to their grave. And, hopefully, to Surbiton.